worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
