Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
