i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
