So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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