Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
