am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
