after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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