I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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