so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
