It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
