You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
