I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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