I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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