last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
