the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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