Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
