If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
