He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
