i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
