"it" just moved
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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