If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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