we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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