just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
