i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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