Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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