I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
