Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
