he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
