You were right. It hurts to walk today.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
