i was rollin on her like bob the builder
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
ok first of all what the fuck
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
