I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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