Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
