I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
