What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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