Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im part way to drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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