Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize