I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
