Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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