even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
