I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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