Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
