Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
