I think I died a long time ago.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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