508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
