OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize