I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
