Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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