Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
