this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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