Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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