you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
