i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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