Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
