Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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