i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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