she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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