We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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