and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
40s are totally the cure
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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