If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize