he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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