How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
