I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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