Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
