she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
